This is Koki Kariya. He has a fishing rod. Won't you join him?

Any of you foxy ladies wanna show me a good time?

Who's interested in a fight to death?

Which one of you turned on the power sprinkler?

Lotsa people getting hurt. Y'know what hurts? Getting caught in your zipper.

Mystic Tifa: Coldest mother hen I ever met. Her couch has a lump right where my shoulder fits! Sure has a lot of boyfriends.

Pearl: Cute kid. Hate to see what bursts her bubble some day.

Got the boot with sunrise, so it's time to play Hunt The Landlord. Anyone wanna be lord of my land?

This text is being sent to all pre-programmed numbers in the cell phone I arrived with. Requesting information...help a brother out. I'm lost, hungry, and my innocent baby needs her insulin shot or she'll die, so if you don't help me, you'll have that on your conscience.

I need all the WWWWWHs: Where am I, Who sent me here, Why am I here, What's going on, When...I guess that one's not important... and How did I get here.

Take your time. But remember, a little chubby baby is crying for her daddy as you type.